One day, you won't be able to hold your head up high.
No matter how strong or how sturdy you think you may be. Or try to be. There's no way a human being will be able to keep standing after being thrown violently to the ground; repeatedly. If only you can brush it off and say "yeah I'm fine," if only you stop feeling emotions; that itself is impossibility.
I want to be able stop feeling emotions, I want to stop dreaming of everything that I've been ignoring. I want to stop shedding tears.
I had a dream today. I couldn't take my eyes away from a field of white flowers. Later, I realized they were daffodils. I wanted to pick some up for you, but someone held me back.
I couldn't breathe anymore.
The air was suffocating me.
But you held a hand in front of me,
asking me to run away with you,
promising me you would take care of me,
and never leave me.
So I did.
I trailed behind you at first,
but as I grew comfortable around you,
I wasn't afraid to walk ahead.
But you left.
I was lost,
I had no place to run to.
I have never felt so unsafe.
You lied.
I couldn't accept the truth,
so I convinced myself that you would come back.
For two years, I was wandering around,
trusting so many I was fooled countless times.
You came back.
I was overjoyed,
knowing you would grab my hand once again.
You did.
But it was different.
You never cared.
You just felt as if you were obligated to take care of me.
Because you asked me to come with you,
because you needed a companion,
because you needed some entertainment.
You are ashamed of me.
Others are aware of my existence.
They're not blind, or deaf.
Yet you could never admit the truth.
The moment I am mentioned in your conversation with others,
you can't help but catch their tongues.
As you dragged me along...
I couldn't bear the pain.
I was tripping over my own two feet.
My wrists and arms were bruising from your grip.
Yet you never bothered to ask if I was okay. But he did.
I would like to bid farewell to my feelings towards you.
And thank you for teaching me a lesson.
If I Could Paint The World In Monochromatic Color...
사랑하면 할수록, 깊어지면 질수록, 너를 밀어낼수록 난 더 더 더
아프고 아파도 또 다시 난 너에게 빠져 너를 찾고 말거야
Tell me why why why why (Why don't you love me)
사랑에 나 취해 너에게 나 취해
미치겠다 너에게서 멀어지는 순간, 내 가슴이 무너져 내 맘도 다가져 갔어
난 아무것도 없어 Please come a little closer
멍든 가슴이 찢어진다, 이 내 마음이 무너진다, 이렇게 애타게 기다릴게
